IN YO FACE

I got rejected today.

The poor pathetic piece was a five-hundred word thought/question/wonder-blob that I liked and thought was fun.

I sent it to a magazine that 1. doesn't pay 2. is notoriously hard to get into. But their pass has sent me reeling. Why is rejection so hard?

I'm great with criticism, especially of my writing. I'm the veteran of a hundred workshops, and must have a face that begs for advice. But even when I'm feeling good, a rejection like this crushes in my chest.

Not that I've had so, so many "passes"-- I barely submit. But each one hurts so much.

*This* is why I want to go to grad school. I don't know why my friends and professors seem to like my writing, or why nobody outside of academia wants to publish it. And since publishers/magazines won't help, guess I'll have to ask a larger portion of academia.

(Maybe problem solving isn't my gift).

Nevertheless, I'll push on. Submit twice a week forever. Because I've seen too many people commit to other people or making a living or blah blah and let their actual dreams drift into the ether, and because giving up certainly doesn't work. Still, there comes a point when you have to wonder if you're the Rudy of the writing world.

I wish I knew: do editors read my submissions for one line, snarl, and toss it aside? (Of course, they must. For time management above all. They prioritize like anyone else).

Will hard work and perserverance get me more than busted up knees, the broken nose, the self-indulgent, denial-lined memories?