i know they know i know everything they know

That's it, I'm done with the writing group.

They've got lots going for them-- it's a group of smart, analytical, soulful individuals. Unfortunately, their sensibilities don't mesh with mine.

I experimented with doing things the way they thought best, but their suggestions didn't work for me. I experimented with following "the rules," but that led to a bunch of twisting and stressing and cutting and altering in ways that weren't actually organic or better for the story.

The truth is, when it comes to my work I really should follow my gut.

That's not to say that input and suggestions aren't valid-- I'll keep on experimenting, keep on writing for the *readers'* eyes as much or more than for my own, and keep on asking other people what they think of my work.

BUT, I've spent weeks trying to make a few suggestions work, because those suggestions *sounded* right. It's been like banging my head against asphalt, but I keep banging because that's what I do.

Until I re-read the chapters in their original sequence today and realized they were *better that way.* They *still* make the most sense, have the best flow, and the most interesting pace in that order. My work of the last few weeks hasn't been for nothing-- those chapters are stronger now. BUT, they're strongest when they play off of each other in the way that originally felt right to me.

It's not that I didn't work to get that order, either-- I switched a lot of things up, and eventually decided that structure was best. Then I showed the chapters to a bunch of people, who had a bunch of different opinions. Like I said, I used the opinions that *sounded* correct. And the head-butting commenced.

This is what I learned:

-- this is *my* work. And though I like to think of it as a craft, it's art, too. It should be an expression of *my* taste, *my* sensibility, and *my* vision. Art is interesting because of the humanity in it-- it's ok to keep my personal humanity in my art. There *can* be some magic.

-- other people are *advisers*, not teachers. What they say is interesting and often accurate, but as the creator, I know my work best.

-- because I like to brainstorm with others, play off other people's ideas, etc, I'm very influenced by the people I work around, or show my work to. Therefore, if *I'm* still struggling to understand a piece, I should protect it and keep it to myself until I have a solid vision of my own.

-- instinct is smart, at least as smart as the brain. Listen to it!