Earnestness, the Quest

There is a blog I like (zunguzungu) written by an academic. This academic uses lots of post-modern-generator-type language which sometimes makes me worry: Am I smart enough for this blog? But he has a very specific point of view, and thinks everything through thoroughly, so I'm always up for trying to get his take.

Anyway, recently he had a picture of this man with huge black glasses, a gap-tooth, gold ring, and goatee. Next to the picture ran an arrogant yet out of touch personal ad. And I guess we're supposed to laugh at the funky man and his funky attempt at human connection. At first I did, anyway.

But seeing the picture again, I can't help but feel a huge tug of tenderness for this person. It's like the feeling I get when I see people's socks. Socks are so innocent; people wear them to protect their shoes and make their feet comfortable. Nobody but the person wearing those socks give a shit whether they're there or not. Socks remind me of all the things people do in order to face the world every day, and when I see them I melt a little.

Once you start paying attention to people, it's tough to be mean to them. When you think of Person X carefully pulling on his socks, doing his laundry, taking his vitamins, hoping his friends will call, missing the subway--when you think of all the hope and effort it took to get Person X here with you at this moment, it's hard to be a bitch and let him know that all that effort is just going to get him pain and humiliation. Which I guess is why everyone loves the long American Psycho montage of Patrick getting ready in the morning? On the one hand, it's easy to make fun of the care he takes with his body, since he doesn't take care of anything else...but it also humanizes him and establishes him as the main character.

This post is not a personal reminder to show my characters waking up and dressing in the morning. It is a reminder, however, to feel tenderness toward them. All we see are the action movie goons getting shot, but somewhere (in our imagination) they all have mothers being crushed and apartments that now need cleaning out and half-written manuscripts that will now be burned.

So in my writing today: tenderness in, brutality out. I think it'll make my work deeper and truer.