Max Beta

A beta-reader got back to me about my story last night. There were certain things I was really nervous about--one plot issue, a political correctness problem, a slow pace at the beginning. He didn't talk to me about any of them.

Beta-Reader's List of Biggest Weaknesses:

MAIN CHARACTER IS UNLIKEABLE:
That weakness really crushed me, because I have a tendency to create unlikeable characters. I don't know why other people find them cold or nasty or self-interested--*I* love them! And it gets difficult hearing that other people hate "somebody" that you love.

The character's mother is dying, which I thought might garner some sympathy. Apparently not enough....so I also had her do something kind in the beginning. I also had her come to someone's aid at the climax. And for her to consider how her actions effected others, near the end.

HOW DOES THIS STORY CHANGE *HER*:
At the climax originally, Supporting Character X was in danger--but got lucky.
At the climax in the next rewrite, Supporting Character X was in danger--and had a horrible thing happen.
In the CURRENT draft, Supporting Character X is in danger--and when Main Character tries to save him, disaster strikes HER. I'm much happier with this version because:

1. it shows Main Character's agency--and agency is vital to creating a compelling character
2. the plot now makes more logical sense--there's now a reason for her particular injury and her next period of growth as a character. It clears up the story's theme.
3. This is *HER* story, goddamnit--why should Supporting Character X get all the glory?

THE AUTHOR FLINCHED:
Sometimes, such as during the above climax, I'd give the before and after, but hide my eyes during the middle. It's a tendency of mine--and I think pretty common--to shy away from showing the really horrible or gut-wrenching part of a scene, for the same reasons we'd avoid seeing or experiencing those things in real life. BUT space = importance to a reader. If something is meant to be the heart of the book, it should be given plenty of attention. Which means the author's flinching confuses the reader's understanding of the story. I went back and worked some more on that... though it's difficult for me to find the line between graphic, extraneous violence and necessary detail.

There were a couple areas where it seemed, on the other hand, that I was providing too much detail. Sadly, there weren't enough of those; this story is 12,500 words and still growing. At this point, I wonder if I should work to expand it to novel-length.

On the one hand, it feels like a complete story. On the other, there are tons of places I feel I could improve the story by expanding. Right now, I need to knock it down to under 12K (at the least), but after I send it out as a (short--ha!) story, I think I will expand those parts.

In the meantime, I'm going to send it to him again and see how he feels about the character's arc now. I also want to make sure all the supporting characters have arcs of their own, and that the whole thing is pretty (and about 500 words shorter). Otherwise, I think I'm done!!!!!