must I speak softy or wear soft clothes or soften my image with domesticity

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/20/magazine/20Meyers-t.html?ref=magazine

How is this article supposed to make a woman feel?

The New York Times profiles one of the few (two? three?) well-paid female directors finding work in Hollywood, and the main thrust of the article is:

1. but she's so feminine!
2. and her success relies on creating "aspirational" home interiors! and that men *can* respect women for their accomplishments! Maybe!
3. but she wouldn't have made it if she hadn't had a male writing partner for the first TWENTY YEARS of her career.

Zero novels written by women break the year's top ten best according to arguably the most influencial reviewers in the country. Time Magazine hasn't had a female "person" of the year since 1986--back, by the way, when it was still called the "Man of the Year." And then there's this Salon article about how much easier it was for female freelancers to find work, respect, and higher pay after taking male pseudonyms:

http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet/feature/2009/12/14/male_pseudonyms/index.html

At least Rihanna gets it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKWT-h3pmDQ