Here's why:
- they tell you how to do cool things. In every act, the main character (in V.O.) explains how to do something like, create a huge magnet/cell phone blocker, blow something up, knock a person out with allergy medication, etc, while a character demonstrates on-screen. SO COOL.
-Michael (the main character) and his mother have a really sweet relationship, which I love, because I love his mother. She wears cute old-lady outfits, like bright red T-shirts. And, she was the Teddy Bear saleslady/psycho killer/Sean's faux agent/Sean's vrai stalker on Nip/Tuck last year (!!!). AND, she (her character) SMOKES.
Yeah, yeah, booooo smoking. I don't even expect to see smoking on T.V. anymore! And if someone does smoke on T.V., they are a) evil, b) clearly not enjoying it. They always have this shriveled facial expression and a weird way of puffing... ANYWAY. But Michael's mom is just a regular smoker. Like mine!
And yeah, I sound like I'm four, but jeez, it's nice to have people on T.V. seem like real people. ie, characters that live in normal houses. And eat stoffer's. And bum rides to things. And have cars that are ok but that break sometimes. And smoke cigarettes for the pleasure of it. And tape up a chair when it gets a hole in it, because they like the chair and really, why get a new one? And hang around their ex-s and not have it be super duper awkward (because face it, who do you know better than an ex? why would that be super duper awkward? unless you're ashamed of something. in which case: lose the conscience already, would you?) And not have everything be super clean. And wear comfortable clothes when they're just hanging out. And use each other, but in the normal friend/family way, not scary ABUSE way (though, lamely, on Burn Notice there is some random ABUSE blah blah blah, but I pretend it's not there because otherwise I like the show so much).
I knew I absolutely loved the show when I was watching it yesterday and in a one-minute scene, Michael's mom fixes her car, psycho-babbles about her husband, smokes a cigarette, puts a stoffer's lasagne in the oven for dinner, and guilt-trips Michael into staying for the meal. AHHHH. See, THAT is comfort viewing. And I bet they're having entimen's for dessert. Or maybe ice cream.
- Like all the other USA shows, the villains aren't EVIL and the heroes aren't all that heroic. In fact, everybody is pretty ordinary, albeit most of the heroes have at least one random, extraordinary skill and most of the villains are losers. (Michael's skill is that he's essentially very cool-headed and in-the-know. Sean from Psych and Monk from Monk are both really observant). I guess USA has cornered the market on totally-normal-except-super-resourceful heroes.
And, while the villains do bad things- they kill people and rob people and are generally not nice- they're only ORDINARY bad, not Law & Order bad. DAMN sure not Law & Order: SVU bad! Or Law & Order: Criminal Intent irrational. But then, Criminal Intent's criminals are the most self destructive ever, and their motives are always so abstract, and their plans are always so roundabout... but I digress.
I like how USA constructs its detective shows in general, and I like how they construct Burn Notice in particular because- well, let's face it, I'm an all-action girl, and that show's the one with the most action. And I think Burn Notice does a very good job of balancing the Monster of the Week episode-length-arc with the character development.
BUT, I do wish they'd improve one thing (ok, two- drop the abuse thing, too): transitions. They're always really awkward and weirdly long. Sometimes we just get a little too much time "hanging" silently with the actors after a scene, while they walk to the next place, etc, and sometimes we get weird jump-cuts, and sometimes we get these weird establishing shots of random (RANDOM) things (ie, we'll be going from a parking lot to a house, and we'll get a long, distorted shot of the ocean for our transition. Why? I dunno.) It's not that the show doesn't have strong act-outs (in theory), because it does- I think it's just the editing. But jeez, it cheapens the whole thing and makes it feel so awkward, and kind of pulls the act-out punch.... and guys, seriously, all you need is to cut away faster. It's not that the scenes themselves are awkward or out of place.
OR: Angel's transitions always seemed cool to me- they were a bunch of shots that flicked by REALLY fast to kind of creepy sound effects. Usually the shots would just be various locations, etc, but a lot of the time they were out-takes from or alternative versions of the scene we'd just watched- and that was REALLY cool/creepy. Like, if a scene had been really heavy, we'd see a super-fast glimpse of the same characters, but playing it happier. Or, if the scene was super light, we'd maybe get a shot of the same characters, but angry or surprised, etc. It gave everything a kind of spooky edge.
ALSO:
As long as I'm going on and on and on about television: Nip/Tuck has been ROCKING. Last week (2/10), the show had all these strange in-joke feeling moments. Two that stood out were: when the soap-actor wants to sit in on surgery, only to have a fight with Sean and storm out, while wrestling with his clothes and screaming, "they don't fit!," and when Christian is killed in the script and the soap-actor explains, "I didn't know what to do with his character."
(Which made me very sad, because I think the writers have been doing a FABULOUS job with Christian this season. SERIOUSLY. This is as good or better as that time you led up to the has-unrequited-love-for-Sean thing. Which- cruelly- you never developed... but I digress).
And honestly, I found this past week's episode very touching. It's strange: when I started watching, I mostly wanted to see Christian get it on, and whatever the hell Matt's CRAZY storyline was. And for a while over the past couple seasons, since Christian hasn't been getting it on and Matt's storylines have gotten more "realistic," I've felt that the show was seriously slipping. But this season- Matt's just being responsible and boring! Julia's gone (yay!)! Christian's been so introverted! And it works! Wow.
Now, I mostly watch hoping people will be nice to Christian and Sean will get knocked down a peg, and Kimber will show up (because I freaking love Kimber).
This is the formula I think they need to keep:
Be cruel to Christian.
Shock Sean.
Matt's storylines should be as outlandish as possible.
Kimber should *always* be around.
And Julia *never* should.
Also, I like Liz pretty well, but I'm not super attached to her yet. How could they fix that?
How could they make Liz into a *real* character, too?
ALSO:
The Sarah Connor Chronicles is a boring show. They talk about action a lot, but they don't have enough of it. And Sarah is *SO* arrogant. Every time she speaks I want to roll my eyes. And for God's sake, John, if THAT is your mother, and you have decided to be with her ALL the time, you've made the bed of perpetual single-hood/unhappy girlfriend-hood, and you'll just have to lie in it. Forever. THINK about that and repent. NOW.
But Dollhouse is pretty good. The stories feel a little bleh to me (last week was an abused child confronting her abuser. this week was, an abused child has become an abuser and Echo faces him when he tries to abuse her. can't we just have a heist, or any plot with a *sane* motive? anything besides psychos? and crappy childhoods?),
and some of the acting seems over the top (memo to guy who changes the "dolls'" memories: CALM DOWN. you make me tense. you are what they call a "blower." STOP.) although the guy who plays Echo's mentor is good and the guy who played the psycho tonight was good, too (meaning likable- I don't know shit about acting). When I look at Echo, I just see Faith, etc, so I can't even really judge.
But what makes the show good for me: the action. GREAT fight scenes. They feel scary, but they're also beautiful. And well-spaced within the show. Tension is really good. I'm not a deep person: those are the things I enjoy :)
What I like:
Burn Notice: SMOKING. Nip/Tuck: CANCER. Dollhouse: FIGHT SCENES. Jeez, who am I?
Other Pro/Cons:
Burn Notice:
Pros: Tone. Character v. Action balance. Internal logic- no cheating. Psycho teddy bear lady.
Cons: Clumsy transitions. Clumsy sentimentality (ie, sad father/brave daughter, abuse backstory)
Nip/Tuck:
Pros: Beautiful, as always. Total (writer) knowledge of the characters. Fun, self-mocking (I LOVE that they always say things like: where's my NONFAT yogurt?).
Cons: No layered story-lines (lately it's been the Christian show). Cheap tricks/Obvious gimmicks- they're boring (who thought Sean was going to be crippled forever? or that Teddy would stay? Or that the little Indian kid would? or that Matt could hold a storyline about becoming a dr.? Or that there wouldn't be ENDLESS gender confusion/incest? And I don't need to see someone changing Sean's diapers to be annoyed with how infantile he is. I'm annoyed by that every second he's on-screen).
Dollhouse (not really fair because there have only been two episodes, but...):
Pros: Great fighting. Great pacing. Cool set.
Cons: Can be too "meta." (ie, the super self-aware, super scenery-chewing memory-guy). Too much blah backstory taking the forefront (last week's ep rested on the "imprint" skill-person's backstory being really destructive, and this week's rested on a psycho-killer threat coming back to haunt the characters.... yawn.)
FYI: PSYCHO KILLERS ARE BORING.
Know what's interesting? THE UNPREDICTABLE. And evil is very, very, very predictable. SO PLEASE STOP BORING EVERYONE WITH IT.
The sad thing is: I'm sure Joss Whedon knows that, and I'm sure the other writers on his staff know that. So whoever is stuffing his show with BORING SHIT, please stop. ECHO IS TOTALLY AMORAL- THAT'S WHAT'S COOL ABOUT HER! So please stop shitting all over the premise of the show by having Echo be a super-cop taking down the baddies.
Ok, now that I've gone on and on and on (and haven't even touched Lost and my newfound love for Ben, or Gossip Girl and how I love all the drippy melodrama, or Supernatural and how it is SO OBVIOUSLY a show about men but made for teenage girls- and me. I promise not to ever speak of Heroes again, though. I mean: they get rid of all the women, team up all the dorks, and CLAIR, WHEN YOU GET A REAL PROBLEM CALL ME BECAUSE BEING BEAUTIFUL, IMMORTAL, AND LOVINGLY/SHREWDLY CARED FOR BY YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL/FATHER IS NOT A PROBLEM) so I'd better sign off and come back to those shows later.
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